*Please be aware that this post is on the topic of SEX.*
Ok now that I have made that clear for all of us who may be prudishly inclined I will continue.
Now on and off over the past little while women all over the place have been mentioning to me, a book called fifty shades of grey. Me being me, I kind of waved it off, saying “SURE! I’ll read it!” While thinking…. ’oh yes, another book to add to my list that I must read. One day.’
But this one has caught my attention, people just won’t shut up about it! It’s everywhere and EVERYONE’S almost demanding that I read it, I was thinking that it was just me specifically who was being asked to read it, but apparently not.
It is a MUST for all women I am told. I’ve also been told that reading it as a woman, is equal to a man sitting down with hustler or some other distasteful pornographic material!
It is so popular that I couldn’t get a hold of the first book! We’ve had to purchase it online. I thought that while I awaited its arrival I’d perhaps give a vague idea on what my thoughts on the ever so sensitive topic of sex is.
I swore to myself that I’d never talk about religion or sex on my blog. But hey, I cracked on religion and really sex?…Why not? If there were no such thing, then I wouldn’t be here to talk about it, and goodness only knows I wouldn’t have 5 kids without that secretive thing that is sex.
So I thought that before I read the book and no doubt give my passionate opinion on it, I felt I needed to give a firm understanding of where I stand.
So really this is a prelude?…I think that’s what it is called…and if not, well…I’m just trying to appear intelligent so just shake your head and giggle at my failed attempt.
Firstly I think there is a very clearly defined line between being aware of your sexuality and of being sexually active. I think that people should have total freedom to do and say what they want behind closed doors.
There is also a line between sexy and skanky. Sexy has an air of self respect and confidence, where as skanky….well it does not.
I do not see a woman or a man who has multiple sexual partners as evil or disgusting or sleazy…unless of course they have those personality traits. Get me?…No, me neither. I mean that if two people consent to being together, no strings attached then that is a harmless act of human behaviour. On the other hand if people are being hurt, crushed and it is not a carefree, caring situation then that is not right.
I am also ok with lesbians, gays and being bisexual. People being kind and loving and making others feel warm and happy? I see nothing bad at all about any of that. Like I said each to their own. If what you are doing behind closed doors has no effect on anyone else, then go for it!
Hmm…this is more difficult to write about than I thought. OK I will begin again.
Couples. Human nature, I don’t at all….to the very core of myself think that humans were made to be with one person and one person alone. I think we have the choice to decided that one sexual partner is all we will ever need or want. But I think it goes against our natural instincts.
I think that in the course of time….as we’ve evolved our beings into possessive creatures we’ve come to think we ‘own’ people too. I mean once upon a time we roamed the land, sharing food, drink, the childcare duties, hunting and gathering duties and yes even partners. Over time jealousy, a sense of personal belonging and a lack of compassion, honesty and openness has turned us into self-absorbed, each for their own, kind of things.
To love someone and be in love with someone is not dependant on physical relationships. It is a massive part of providing for someone and keeping them happy and content but in order to have a happy and content partner they should not have restrictions placed on them. A mutual agreement is made, sometimes without even using words. I am yours and you are mine. No one else is involved. But occasionaly there are times when we cannot provide what our partners require.
Oh sheesh. I wouldn’t allow Glen to cheat on me, and I wouldn’t cheat on him. Because that is the word that makes it ugly.
Going behind someones back and betraying trust and loyalties.
But what if your husband came to you, asked you if he could sleep with someone else?
After punching his face and screaming and carrying on, feeling hurt and betrayed as if the deed had already been done, wouldn’t you feel a little ok, knowing that he had enough respect for you that he thought to ask?!
Well no, I still wouldn’t say “Sure honey, I’ll watch Offspring and wait up for you so you can give me the details!.”
But that is our choice. I want to be exclusively Glen’s and vice versa. But I don’t think it is natural.
Why would we get stupid giddy feelings when someone looks at us a certain way? Why would we be attracted to other people?
Because it is a natural response. Mostly it comes down to pharamones…the chemicals released from ones skin that sets of signals in the smellers brain and really at the basest of its form, it happens for breeding purposes.
We really are just a bunch of highly evolved cattle. We need to breed and whomever created us wants us to breed with a ‘good match’ giving into those instincts ensures that the future generations are going to be strong and healthy.
I think I bred well.
Back to sex, I never really left the topic but I did go off in a million random directions too!
I strongly think that kids shouldn’t be hidden from the topic. I don’t think they should be over exposed or present!!! But they’re curious, far more than we know sometimes, and they’re not learning the truth from their little friends, that’s for sure! There is no perfect age to sit down and discuss sex with your kids, they’ll ask about people kissing on tv, or why mum and dad kiss/hug, tell them. Don’t hide it. Use age appropriate chats, if your uncomfortable just simply answer their question truthfully and move on. Once you give them a relevant answer more questions will come. To know where babies come from and how they get IN and then how they get OUT isn’t some massive secret, I don’t think young kids need to know specific details but it is ok for them to know that a man and a woman is needed to create a baby which grows in a mummy’s tummy and comes out of her girlie bits.
They think it is gross, and yes I use the word ‘girlie bits’ because I too, am awkward. But I’d hate for my girls to become women one day being as in the dark as I was!
So What I’ve said so far is that;
Sex is a natural part of being a living breathing creature.
It is not dirty. It is not evil. If it were, how could we look at these awesome things we call children and think they’re so perfect?
It is a fun thing that people should be able to enjoy freely. If there is no harm or ill feelings to either (or all) involved then all is good.
I think that when we chose to be monogamous we are chosing to honor one person even if it means going against what nature intended for us.
Sex is for procreation. We have turned it into recreation so hell, have fun.
It is not something to be feared or ashamed of.
Children should NOT be sheltered from it. However they should not be over exposed. Answer questions age appropriately. Don’t avoid the topic because one day you’ll want them to open up to you and they won’t.
Kids should know where babies come from (and where they come OUT from) they’ll giggle and say “eww” but they accept it. It is nature!
I can’t think of anything else.
Personally as a woman I like sex. I’m open to new things and ok with saying ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ to liking something or not. I have, or will try at least everything once in my lifetime and I am lucky enough to have a husband I feel safe and comfortable with to be able to do so.
For some reason us women think that we have to be all ‘shucks’ about it. Why? Does it make us look like horny, dirty, little beasts?…Maybe but I doubt our husbands/partners would care!
I’m so tired of us having to hide our feelings, be all submissive and coy.
So I guess that’s why this book, “fifty shades of grey” -that I am yet to read- is so appealing to women.
It opens that world and makes it ok to talk about without getting all pink and flustered.
Slowly but surely us ladies are growing into ourselves and becoming more comfortable in our own skins AND growing confident to express our inner most feelings and thoughts.
If this books helping us become more ‘free’ then I’m all for it.
I love it.
I recommend it.
And now I’m off to harass my husband!
He’s baking a cake!
And really whats hotter than a man baking a cake?!